New leaf

5th March 2011, in few months I turn 29, not scary age but a complete nightmare when you start to enlist your achievements and you find page empty. Edgy close to falling on sofa I wondered how lazy can I be after 26 years running after a professional career for past 3 years, I should have done something creative something I had dreamed for had ambitions. But sadly, my lazy ass and self forgiving attitude made the past 3 years complete waste and no valuable achievement. Shame grips me, 2010 was dark year in my life when I switched from complete depression to hyper anxious to complete TV watching sofa crouched ass. 2009 was career debut in England a milestone year in my profession when I started earning a decent professional salary. 2010 it all took tumble, at one point there was fear of everything been snatched away everything I earned till date money, career, respect bit of self-confidence that I had. I had year I spent time with therapist, earned support of friends and family and most important learnt value of life and to prioritize it.

2011 thought would be my year. On new years eve alone with an acquaintance, I made lots of new resolutions and unlike past years was determined to follow them. The vital one was to stay positive and upbeat others included getting more organised, more clean and more active in walking towards dream. January was all up and happy but passed far too quickly with no achievements on my agenda. Hence with few surprises February was a dampener in fact at one point I was hopeless and drawing myself towards dark side. Last week I got a grip of myself and said time to act now or you have an empty life with no substance or meaning.

Hence, on day my parents tied in matrimony I thought I will work towards my aims and goals. They being working in media, achieving a name for myself in that world hence want to learn writing. Also being more disciplined and short-term goals like reducing weight, making myself presentable, making a beautiful garden in courtyard etc. Thus, wanna start blog to expose myself to suggestions , to comments and most important share myself with this immensely huge beautiful world.

A 2009 movie called "Julie and Julia" inspired me to get myself a short-term motive. A possible, manageable motive which I can work on and be happy. The short-term goal being educating myself in world I wanna earn name in 'Writing and Movies'. Thus , I start project today called as "Creation Bhavin". The project includes two major acts which are every week 1.Watch a movie which I have never seen before and write and submit my own review here and 2. Cook a new vegetarian/vegan recipe every week and write about it here. The other aspects of this project include keep on with my reading and review books as and when I finish them including any magazine articles or newspaper comments, write my comments on any current affair that engage my opinion and also write and comment about TV shows that catch attention and most important share various clippings of life with my take on people in my life and my career. And doing all this without compromising my job, household chores or social life. Its a challenge I embark upon hoping to turn a new leaf in my underachieved life. Not forgetting to enrol in a distance learning writing course and also join a dancing class to improve my physical skills and later this year join in a university diploma in my profession

As usual I have set myself high expectations lets see if I fail myself again or manage to achieve something at least this year. Would require your wishes and blessings.

I start challenge 2011 : "Creation Bhavin"